Moving On
by omalleyanatomy26
Summary: Sam dies for good in the season 2 finale. Now Dean tries to deal with losing his brother and moving on with his life, like Sam would have wanted. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

**I got this idea after I saw a few sad youtube videos of Dean dealing with Sam's death and letting go, so I was thinking of doing the same thing with a fanfic lol. I wanted to do a really really long one shot but I'm gonna split it into three parts. Maybe two. And this weekend I'm REALLY going to try and update my fics! It's just I got depressed watching a few sad SPN videos and so writing this is kind of theraputic for me lol!

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****Prologue

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**Dean couldn't believe it. He was _burying _his brother. In a robotic motion he dug the hole. Bobby was standing by his side. He had made the mistake of suggesting the burn and torch routine. Dean made it clear that he wasn't about to burn his own brother. He was half drunk when he put Sam's casket into the ground. This was the only way he could deal with it. He stared at the ground bitterly. His father was in hell, and now his baby brother was dead.

"Pelase," he gasped out loud suddenly as Bobby placed his hand onto Dean's shoulder. "Leave...I need to be alone. Please..."

Bobby nodded as he tried to control his own shaking. He turned and left. Dean colapsed in front of the bomstone that Bobby had made for him.

_Samuel Winchester_

_1983-2007 _

_Beloved son and beloved brother_

_May He Rest in Peace_

"I'm so sorry, Sammy," he sobbed. "I'm so sorry." And he sat there and rocked back and forth and let out a howl that could be heard half a mile away.

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A month had passed. Devil's gate had been broken lose. He had managed to kill Yellow Eyes with the help of his father who had climbed out of hell. After the kill, which happened after Azazel mocked Sam's death; calling him weak, Dean knelt before the demon.

"That was for our mother, you sonofabitch," he whispered. He than shot Jake behind in the back only a few seconds later. "And that was for Sam."

Momentary relief of accomplished filled him briefly but the victory was hollow. Sam deserved to be there to celebrate Yellow Eyes death as much as Dean and yet he couldn't.

Aftwards Ellen offered him a place to stay but Dean refused, saying if he was going to stay with anyone it was going to be with Bobby. Jo had appeared shortly after, though, unsure of what to say but wishing to help him. Dean stayed in Bobby's sparebedroom most of the time, using Sam's books and laptop for research. The relief he had gotten from killing the demon quickly faded and replaced it with anger and despair. Self loathing consumed most of his feelings as well as a sense of determination to kill as many sonsofbitches as possible.

Every day he visited Sam's grave Tears flowed down his cheeks as he stared at the tombstone.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy," he whispered, his voice shaking. "So sorry." the thought of his baby brother rotting underground made him physically ill. He had lost track of how many times he would vomit in the bushes by the grave each time he visited there.

It startled him, though, when he found Jo in front of the grave as he pulled up to it. He walked over to her.

"What are you doing here?" His voice wasn't mean, but soft and honestly confused/

"I realized I hadn't come to Sam's grave yet," she said softly. "I felt guilty."

Dean nodded.

"I'm sorry that the last time you saw him was when he was possessed," he said quietly. "That's not what he was like."

"I know," Jo said softly. 'I saw what he was like before that."

Dean nodded, relieved that his brother's memory wasn't tained.

"I'm so sorry, Dean," she whispered. "So sorry."

He stiffened at the apology.

"Thanks," he finally mumbled back.

She looked at him sadly.

"How often do you visit his grave?" Was all she could think of asking. He caughed and cleared his throat.

"Everyday," he said softly and she nodded and both stood there in silence and continued to stare at the tombstone into the night.

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**Even though this is like my hundreth SPN fic should I still continue? And what do you guys feel about Jo being there? I'm thinking of making her a romantic interest, of her helping getting over Sam that way. While I didn't care for her on the show I kind of like readinag about her and Dean in fics, does that make sense?**

**But yeah if you guys HATE that idea than I won't do it lol! **

**Oh and I'm not sure if I got the right dates on the tombstone lol. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the reviews! I was going to make this into a short fic when I realized Dean's grieving process deserves to be investegated deeper than just three chapters lol. I'm still toying with Jo and Dean, gotten some mixed reviewes on that idea. And sorry, this IS a death fic. Sam's not coming back. My first instinct was to find a way to save him :) But this is a challenge for me to have him stay dead. But he'll return in dreams and such or maybe as a ghost or something, sort of like how John returned for that one moment in AHBL part 2 and gave a lot of closure on his death, I'm gonna do something similar for Sam. And even though it's a death fic I hope people still read it! :) And the reason why I'm putting Jo in is because Dean is going to need someone other than just Bobby to help him through this.

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Long after Jo left Dean still stood in front of the tombstone.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy," he said softly. Suddenly he thought he felt something touch his shoulder. He whirled around. There stood Sam, standing there calm and peaceful. Smiling.

"Sammy?" He blinked a few times. "Is that really you?"

Sam just stood there, and continued to smile but a sad look was in his eyes. Dean's breathing quickened. He wasn't sure what was happening.

"Sammy?" He found himself repeating his brother's names. Tears in his eyes. Suddenly he heard a noise, almost like twig snapping. He whirled around him and Bobby stood there.

"Thought I'd see how you were doing," he said grimly. Dean stared at him in shock.

"Do you see him?" He demanded, still trying to catch his breath. Bobby froowned.

"See who?"

"Sammy!" Dean turned around again eagerly but Sam was gone. He stared at the empty space in front of him. "He as here," he mumbled. "Right here, Bobby. I s_aw _him."

Bobby stared at Dean, worry in his eyes.

"Come on son," he said gently. "Let's go."

"No! He was here damn it! I'm not crazy!"

Bobby sighed.

"I believe you," he smoothly lied. "Sometimes things happen that we can't explain. But you've been here long enough for one day, Dean. You should get some rest."

Dean opened his mouth to protest but slowly nodded instead and allowed to be led away by Bobby.

He stared out at the window.

_He did see Sammy right? He wasn't going crazy right? Sam WAS there. He didn't just imagine...right?_

If only there a way to be sure about this. A new thought entered Dean's mind.

Sam's demon blood. What if that prevented him from getting into heaven? There was hell...so was there a heaven too?

"Bobby..."His voice trailed off and Bobby looked at the young man sharply.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think..."Dean's throat closed.

"What?"

"Do you think Sammy's in hell?"

Bobby stared at him in utter shock.

"Why would you think of something like that?"

"Because.....of his demon blood. What if that stopped him from going to heaven, if there is a heaven..."

"There's a heaven, Dean. There has to be balance," Bobby told him. "There's good so there's evil. There's hell so there's heaven."

"But...what if the demon blood prevents him from getting into heaven?" Fear filled Dean's voice. Bobby looked at him.

"Dean, put that thought out of your head right now. Sam's not in hell. God would be able to see the good in him despite the demon blood. He's not about to send someone like Sam downstairs."

Dean nodded, somewhat convinced, and looked out the window.

Slowly when he got home he fell into a nightmarish sleep. He dreamed of Sam in hell, being burned alive and screaming for Dean. He dreamed of Sam dying in his arms over and over again, and he shouted Sam's name over and over, not knowing he was shouting it in real life too.

"Sam!" He bolted up right and he saw Bobby leaning over him, looking more than a little concerned.

"Dean?" He gripped the oldest Winchester boy's shoulder. "It's all right Dean, you were dreaming."

Dean was shaking. He tried to collect himself.

"Sammy...Sammy's gone Bobby," he finally whispered and Bobby had tears in his eyes.

"Yes," he said softly. "He is."

"Sam's...Sam's gone," repeated Dean and for the first time he allowed himself to be held by Bobby who rocked him back and forth while Dean cried onto his shoulders.

**Sorry about both chapters being so short, but here's a Sam moment for ya :) I'll do another update tonight to make up for thsi shortness if you want me to that is! **


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